No. 8

Hi Tuesday Crew…

Nine weeks in, and I need to start with a big Thank You. It’s been a heavy week within my friendship group, and writing this (typing actually, my handwriting is dreadful!) has given me purpose at a time when it would have been easier to hide away. So here’s a massive virtual hug of appreciation for showing up and reading my words week after week.

Amidst the heaviness, there were beautiful moments too: celebrating friends’ love in Corfu, starting our antenatal classes (a lovely step closer to parenthood, minus the forced networking, which I am painfully awkward at!), and seeing my Telegraph interview land online and in print. I’ve had such a kind response, and it feels like a really nice reflection of where I’m at now.

I do read your comments and reply to as many as I can, so please keep them coming. Seems like a lot of you are celebrating birthdays right now, so a collective HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you. I hope last week’s words help shape the year ahead.

This week, we kick off with a big DOSE OF DOPAMINE, move into the section that won the poll - LEARNING TO LET GO and we’ll close out with an intro to BC AWARENESS MONTH and how I’ll be showing up for you. The usual List of Joy and LTK is there for you too!

With that said, let’s get into it…

The Dopamine Effect…

“Dopamine can be a distraction or a superpower - it’s all in how we use it.”

At the weekend, I found myself smiling just by slipping on a bright turquoise dress for a ‘pool party’ during the wedding Ben and I attended in Greece. Nothing major, just a small lift in my mood (which I was grateful for, because let’s be honest, not many women want to be at a pool party at seven months pregnant!). It got me thinking about dopamine - the little chemical messenger that quietly drives so much of our day-to-day life. Often called the ‘pleasure chemical,’ dopamine is especially interesting for women because it doesn’t run in a straight line. It’s influenced by our hormones, our cycles, and even by the ways we choose to find joy. It’s brilliant at getting us moving, but it also has a downside because it’s about anticipation more than satisfaction. It often keeps us chasing the next thing instead of enjoying what’s right in front of us. That’s why the quick hits - scrolling, 24/7 news, sugar, shopping sales, feel good in the moment but rarely leave us content. Over time, the brain learns to expect constant stimulation, dulling our response to the smaller joys (which are soooo important). The result? We tire of the good things faster, and what once felt exciting suddenly feels flat. Boooo! The key isn’t giving up dopamine, but it is noticing when it’s serving us, and when it’s running the show.

A Simple, Daily Dopamine Reset:

Delay the scroll Give yourself 10/15 minutes before checking your phone. Start the day calm, not chasing.
Savour the anticipation Plan one small thing to look forward to - dopamine loves the build-up.
Swap fast for slow Trade a quick hit (scroll, sugar) for a slower one (cook a meal, read a chapter).
One tab at a time Close the extra tabs on your laptop and in your brain. (This is my daily challenge!)
Pair with calm Balance sparks with serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins. That’s when dopamine really works for you.

Women often downplay their need for hobbies or ‘frivolous fun,’ but it’s those exact things that light up the reward pathways in our brains. Singing in the car (and you better make it loud), buying fresh flowers, calling a friend, and moving your body in a way that feels free instead of forced - these moments are FUEL (just as food is, as we discussed in Issue 6). The more we consciously notice and celebrate them, the more our brains begin to seek them out. That’s how joy becomes a practice, not an accident.

“When we work with dopamine instead of letting it run the show, the little hits become fuel, not just noise.”

There’s actually a term called dopamine dressing, which is using what you wear to boost your brain chemistry. I am a big fan. I’ve always loved colour in the home (wait until you see the paint currently going on our walls!) and in fashion too. Think of it as fashion-meets-neuroscience: studies show that colour and clothing choice can genuinely lift mood and energy, and I believe it.

During radiotherapy, the days felt like Groundhog Day - same waiting room, same faces, same time of day. I made a choice: I would break the monotony with bold colour, and joyful outfits. I’ll never forget receiving a letter from an older lady after her final session. She wrote that my outfits had made what she called ‘a very sad few weeks’ feel a little brighter. My colourful looks boosted her dopamine as much as mine. How beautiful is that?!

And that’s the magic of dopamine dressing: a bright jacket, a bold lip, or earrings that make you smile can give you a brain-boosting spark. For women especially, who often feel pressure to blend in, reaching for joy through colour is a quiet act of self-care (and frankly, a big f**k you to anyone who’s made you feel you shouldn’t stand out). Little bursts of feel-good dressing are like mini dopamine shots sprinkled throughout the week.

“Think of dopamine as your brain’s nudge forward; the real joy is in choosing where you let it take you.”

If dopamine is about the chase, letting go is about release. Let's move into the topic that topped last week’s poll. Think of this segment as the exhale I’m sure we all deserve….

Learning To Let Go…

“Letting go isn’t about losing - it’s about making space for what’s waiting.”

Letting go sounds easy in theory, doesn’t it? And yet it’s one of the hardest lessons we ever face. We’re taught to strive, to achieve, to hold on at all costs, but rarely how to release what no longer serves us. That’s where so many of us get stuck.

The truth is, letting go isn’t one thing, it’s a practice that shows up everywhere. We let go of people, jobs, friendships, old versions of ourselves. Sometimes it’s anger or resentment, sometimes it’s the illusion of control. Sometimes, painfully, it’s a person we loved.

Letting go is not erasing. It’s not pretending something or someone didn’t matter. Of course they mattered - the job that shaped you, the relationship that was right for a time, the friend who walked beside you for a season. Letting go simply frees you from carrying the weight of it all. Holding on too tightly, whether to a grudge, a dream, or a person, can become heavier than the thing itself.

Relationships - Letting go of love or friendship can feel like losing a part of ourselves. We replay conversations (I’d always do this in the shower), second-guess decisions, and tell ourselves stories about what could have been different. Sometimes relationships end not because we failed, but because we grew. The season is simply over, and the kindest thing we can do is loosen our grip and walk forward, honouring the role that person played, whilst recognising that the story continues without them.

Not all endings come with fireworks or betrayal. Often, it’s a slow realisation that you’ve grown in different directions, and although I’ve never experienced that myself, I imagine it’s harder to accept than the dramatic break. There isn’t one big reason, just the quiet knowing that holding on costs more than letting go.

Sometimes, letting go happens within relationships that continue. We may not walk away, but we let go of old versions of a person, unrealistic expectations, or the need for them to meet every single one of our needs. When both people are willing, this kind of letting go can breathe new life into long-term relationships, creating more acceptance and less disappointment. Closing one chapter doesn’t always mean the connection has to end.

PRACTICE: Stop re-reading old messages. It’s the clearest way to stop living in the past and start creating space for the present.

Anger and Resentment - Anger can feel like armour that keeps us safe from being hurt again, but armour is heavy. Carry it too long and it doesn’t just shield us from pain, it shields us from joy, connection, and peace. Resentment is anger’s quieter sibling. It builds layer by layer - the bitterness after an argument, the cold distance we create, the mental reruns of ‘they should have known better’ or ‘I deserved more.’ Holding onto it doesn’t punish the other person, it punishes us. Think of anger as a flame. In the short term, it can fuel boundaries and actions, but left unchecked, it burns everything in its path, including us. Letting go doesn’t mean excusing what happened, it means releasing ourselves from being chained to it. Letting go of anger isn’t for them, it’s for us. It’s choosing peace over revenge, freedom over loops that keep us stuck. Sometimes that choice is loud, sometimes it’s quiet - like stepping away from the same old argument. Anger may visit us, but it doesn’t have to move in.

PRACTICE: Notice when you’re looping the story, and tell yourself: ‘This chapter is closed’, because resentment lives in repetition and closing the loop is how you break free.

Identity and Control - Sometimes letting go has nothing to do with other people and everything to do with ourselves. Over time, we all build identities - versions of who we think we should be, or who the world expects us to be. Maybe it’s the younger version of us who believed success meant climbing a particular career ladder, or the perfectionist who thought the ‘perfect’ body, the flawless home, or the jam-packed calendar equals worth. The hardest part is that these identities often served us once. They gave us structure, belonging, or drive, which is why it feels destabilising to outgrow them. Growth means shedding skins. It means saying: I don’t need to prove myself in the same ways anymore. I’m allowed to evolve. Then there’s control - the biggest illusion of all. We want to hold the reins on everything: our homes, our families, our futures. Life can be relentless in reminding us otherwise. The tighter we grip, the more exhausted we become. Letting go here doesn’t mean giving up. It means loosening our attachment to one rigid outcome, showing up as best we can, and leaving space for the unknown. Sometimes the most beautiful chapters of our lives are the ones we never planned.

PRACTICE: Swap ‘I should be…’ for ‘I am learning to…’. It shifts the inner voice from pressure to compassion, and that’s where real change starts.

Loss - Grief is the kind of loss that breaks us open. Letting go is not forgetting, it’s finding a way to carry the memory without letting it paralyse us. It’s allowing joy AND sorrow to exist side by side, because two things really can be true at once. The waves of grief come and go. Some days they crash down with the same force as the beginning, and other days they’re just a dull ache. Letting go doesn’t stop the waves, it teaches us how to float when they arrive—trusting (slowly) that we’ll surface again. There’s also a letting go inside grief itself: releasing the “shoulds.” The idea that we should be over it by now, that grief should be neat and linear, that we should always be strong. Real grief isn’t like that. Letting go here means allowing ourselves to feel it exactly as it is. And here’s the quiet hope: grief doesn’t empty us, it reshapes us. The people we’ve loved, the chapters we’ve lived, they never really leave. They’re woven into who we are. Letting go simply loosens the grip of pain so that love, memory, and even joy can sit alongside it. Grief is the leftover love with nowhere to go.

PRACTICE: Find one way to carry forward, whether it’s lighting a candle or cooking a meal they loved. It honours the love without being paralysed by the loss.

Letting Go Gentle Guide…

Pause + Breathe - Step back before reacting; let your body soften (shoulders, jaw, hands).

Release the Grip - Notice where you’re holding on to control or resentment, and consciously let it loosen.

Gratitude in the Present - Shift focus to what is rather than what’s missing or what was. I truly believe this one is so worth working on!

Honor Without Clinging - Create small rituals or keepsakes to acknowledge love, loss, or memories without needing to hold them tightly.

Choose Compassion - For yourself and others; replace resentment with one kind thought or action.

Remember you can’t control outcomes, only your choices and your response. No ‘challenge of the week’ this week, there’s already a lot to digest, but I do hope you add the below into your monthly routine x

Breast Cancer Awareness Month…

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and I will be using this month to share one part of my own cancer journey each week: either the things I wish I’d known, the things nobody really talks about, or the things that helped me most along the way. My hope is that these reflections can be useful whether you’re facing cancer yourself, supporting a friend or loved one, or simply wanting to understand more. Knowledge is power. Cancer is not just one story - it’s many. Too many. It's unthinkable. It's hair loss and wigs, it’s the uncertainty of treatment, it’s the scars we carry on our bodies and deeper in our hearts. It’s also keeping up movement when you feel like your body isn’t your own, and it’s the unbelievable power of community - the people who show up, sit with you, cook for you, and walk beside you.

So, throughout October, I’ll touch on a few key areas:

Hair - What I learned about hair loss, regrowth, emotions tied to it, and ‘tips and tricks’ I learned to look after mine.
Support - Practical ways to help a friend going through treatment (because flowers are lovely, but sometimes it’s the more random, thoughtful things that matter most).
Movement - How to approach exercise safely and gently during treatment, and why movement gave me strength when I felt weakest.
Scars - Not just physical, but emotional, and how to live with and even embrace them.
Community - Why healing is rarely done alone, and how connection was the glue that held me together.

These won’t be heavy essays, but honest reflections, and a way of shining a light on the things I wish I’d had more guidance on at the time. My hope is that they bring awareness, comfort, and maybe even a sense of solidarity. Whether cancer touches you directly or indirectly, compassion and awareness ALWAYS matter.

“Knowing your normal is the most powerful tool you have - here’s how to start.”

One of the most important things you can do for yourself (and the people you love) is to know YOUR normal. Breast cancer is often found because someone notices a change, not because they were actively looking. Here’s a simple routine to follow once a month, ideally just after your period when breasts are less tender. If you’re post-menopausal or pregnant, pick the same day each month. The key is consistency:

Look - Stand in front of a mirror with shoulders straight, arms on hips. Check size, shape, and colour. Notice any dimpling, swelling, redness, or skin changes. Raise your arms and look again.

Feel in the shower - Use the pads of your fingers in small circles, covering the whole breast: collarbone to top of stomach, armpit to cleavage.

Feel lying down - Place a pillow under your shoulder and arm behind your head. Use the opposite hand to check each breast, pressing lightly, then more firmly. Don’t forget under the arm.

You’re checking for differences, not perfection. Lumps, thickened tissue, swelling, nipple discharge, or any changes in shape, colour, or feel. Most importantly: if something feels off, don’t wait. Most changes won’t be anything serious, but they should always be checked. You know your body best, so always trust it.

I really hope this is helpful, one of my biggest goals is to empower you, not scaremonger you. I appreciate the weight a segment like this can have, so Thank You for reading. Let’s lean back into some dopamine, and our List of Joy for the week…

List Of Joy…

👚 WEARING: OLIVIA RUBIN Talking about dopamine dressing this week, there really is only one designer that does it best! She kept me in colour and confidence at a time I needed it most.

🥄 USING: Since this newsletter is all about celebrating women and supporting women’s health, I wanted to share a brand I’ve been loving during pregnancy. NEEDED is a nutrition company created by two mums who are setting a new standard of care for women’s health. Their products support women (and their families) through every stage of life - from daily wellness to motherhood and beyond. I love the Collagen and Prenatal. Check them out and my readers get an extra 20% off with code LEANNE!

🎧 LISTENING: I took the plane journey to listen to the podcast ON PURPOSE WITH JAY SHETTY, and the guest was MADONNA. It’s a long one, so definitely save for a car journey or listen over a few sessions, but it’s a very different side of Madonna that we haven’t seen or heard about. She discusses spirituality very deeply, and how she’s studied it for the last 30 years. Give it a listen. Definitely made me more curious to work deeper on myself.

LTK Of The Week…

HALLOWEEN DECOR - You know every week there’s a little bit of decor from me to you to make Halloween that little bit more fun!

NOBODY’S CHILD KNITTED CARDIGAN - waiting for this to arrive! Not sure how it’s going to look with bump, but I love the shape and think you’ll wear it over and over.

REVOLVE - SUPERDOWN DRESS - this is the blue dress that made me smile at the wedding! They have a few colours and it’s very easy to wear / flattering.

4TH AND RECKLESS CO ORD - I wore this co-ord for a casual dinner the night before the wedding, and it was perfect. I felt super comfy but elevated with the right accessories.

MAC - RUUBY WOO - If we’re talking about a dopamine hit, this is the PERFECT RED, and it’s been in my make up kit for 15 years and counting!

BIKE BANDANAS - I’m always asked about the bandanas I wear on the bike, and as we’re into a colour pop this week… here they are!

KAREN MILLEN DRESS - for anyone attending an A/W wedding, I think this dress is gorgeous! The drape is such a wow moment, whilst still being chic.

GLASSES - Yes, these are a splurge. I am obsessed with glasses and I made the mistake of trying these on, loving them and the rest is history! I’ll wear these so much over the next few months.